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Nothing At All

from Dunno by Chris Black

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about

Jami Attenberg asked me to write music inspired by her novel The Melting Season, and this is it.

It’s a beautiful story, and features love gone away, a long drive, and a lot of shame, all themes near and dear to my heart.

lyrics

I am afraid of what’s inside of me. Something awful. Something weak. Some kind of hurt is hidden away, and I feel nothing, and I am afraid of what’s inside of you. Something desperate, greedy and small. You’re never finished, you’re never okay. You’re never happy. And I am afraid.

Is this the end? Is this the last? You can smell it like rain. Where has our love gone? Where is my friend? Who will save us now? This is the end. The end of childhood, the end of knowing, the end of our dreams. We had such riches, but it’s all been spent, and there’s nothing left to leave. This is the end.

Hate me, I took everything. Forgive me, I took nothing. Will you miss me when I’m gone, like I missed you before? Before we went wrong? Like I missed you before we went wrong.

You’re long gone. When did you go? Was it your father? Was it the money? Was it my emptiness all along? Nobody’s perfect and I’m long gone, driving for days, snow-blind and tired. Don’t try to find me — I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve done nothing right. Nothing at all.

Say goodbye to nothing at all.

credits

from Dunno, released April 8, 2011

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Chris Black Raleigh, North Carolina

Chris Black is a multi-instrumental composer and performer living in Wake County, North Carolina. He has been a member of such groups as Shoulders (Austin, TX), Les Wampas (Paris, FR), Golden Arm Trio (Austin, TX), The Wedding's Off (L.A., CA), and the Taraf de Tucson (Tucson, AZ). He is the founder of the alt-classical, D.I.Y. chamber music concert series ChamberLab. ... more

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